I'm back from my 4-Day trip to Sukop! Earlier on, I was wondering what would come out of this trip since I was feeling so unprepared and 'off-focused'. And with the trip being just 4 days, I didn't really think much could come out of it.

How wrong I was.

Effectively, the team only spent one day's worth of ministry time in Sukop, cos of all the boat rides (it takes 3 boat rides to get there), but even that one day is more than worth it in terms of what we received.

Sharing from my own perspective (cos other team members will have other points of view), I was really stirred by the life and action of our host and local Sukop church pastor Ani. On Sunday, she was preaching using the Evangecube as a tool. She did it, to the point of tears, with so much fire, passion, belief, conviction, courage, and boldness (i'm running out of superlatives...), that I stayed glued to the sermon despite the heat, and the fact I dun understand a word of Berhasa other than 'Yesus', 'Tuhan', and 'Allah'. You would have thought that she's ready to die for the truth of God's word any time. That's not just it... off-pulpit, Ani simply comes across as someone soft-spoken and 'average', yet she preaches like a lion when she gets on stage... as though the spirit of God suddenly came upon her. One would be astounded by the fact that Ani used to be a domestic helper here in Singapore... 

The fact that she's served 8 years on Sukop (the longest any pastor before her spent was 3 months) doesn't come as a surprise to me... if there's anyone who could have lasted this long, it's gotta be her.

The other thing that struck me was seeing the manner the Sukop Christians worship. The people sang and prayed like there was going to be no tomorrow... the desperate manner of their prayers was as though it was their final chance to speak to God. The worship was simply heartfelt, honest and 'worshipful'. Was it a revival rally that I attended? Nope... it was just a regular Saturday night gathering.. akin to our weekly cell group sessions. The experience with them suggested to me that their God (also my God...) is real... and He has had a deep impact in their lives. Through it I was reminded that when God is lifted up, He will draw all men to Himself - people see the reality of God in the way we christians worship Him.

As for me, I've to have a re-look at my own level of faith, and the things that are keeping me from being totally passionate for God, from fully abandoning myself in worship of Him. I've much to learn from Ani and the Christians in Sukop - people of passion and tender-heartedness toward God in spite of their minority status on the island. So glad and thankful for this trip...  though I've been tired out physically, I've been more than replenished by the unexpected blessing from that one day in Sukop.

In a few hours time I'll be off to Sukop. It's a 4-day mission trip that I'm participating in with my church DG. Honestly I'm feeling grossly under-prepared for this mission trip... coming around two weeks after my last one, which I've yet to fully digest and reflect upon. Also troubled by stuff going on at work and at home... just this week mom fell sick. And just today, I was feeling somewhat frustrated by my lack of prep (for this trip) and by the stuff going on around me. Haizz.. need to pray and be prayed for...

I went up a hill (sorry but for the life of me... I can't recall the name of this place...) during Day Six of my trip. Maybe I'm getting 'old' or I'm simply not as fit as before, but the climb was for sure a challenging one, huffing and puffing as I endured carrying all 80kg (this figure by the way, is rounded UP... hehe) of me up the slope

Halfway thru the climb I came to this spot where I saw a view of the landscape. The urban soul in me started gazing at this natural beauty. 'This is it', so I thought. I could have been content staying put at that spot.

"The view up there is much better", said my friend Eugene, who's also our team's host from Radion, before moving on.

It took some time to get up there, but once I did, I knew all the effort was worth it. Simply put, the view from the top was simply breathtaking. At that moment, thinking to myself as I caught my breath, I was sure glad I didn't choose to remain at the halfway point.

So what am I driving at?

There are times in our christian walk when our journey gets arduous, and in our weariness, we opt to settle for the 'halfway point', or what we think is already best for us (when in fact it's second best in God's point of view).When God leads us to the mountain top, it's definitely going to involve a certain degree of effort, will-power, sweat, or even blood and tears in some cases. By failing to press on when the time calls for it, we might simply miss what God has in store for us - His Best. "the view up there is much better...."

Admittedly, I've been guilty of this very thing, at times choosing to go the easy way out over personal sacrifice. While being content is not necessarily a wrong thing.... I believe, where our spiritual journey is concerned, there has to be more. Don't settle for second best... settle for God's best.

What a difference 3 months make! This boy, who was a subject of one of my earlier posts, is currently adopted by Radion International's Streetkids Program. When I last saw him back in March, he was a boy who appeared to me as sad and lonely. I met him during my latest trip, and oh gosh... i nearly didn't realise it was him till i verified with our Radion hosts. Tim (the name given to him by the Radion staff), now appears much happier and is currently among one of the Wave 2 team's favorite 'cute kids'.

Let the pics do the talking....

From this















To this

I'm currently away on a Gen12ii mission trip that stretches from Jun 2-11. Blogging from where I stay in Khek Noi, the same village I visited back in March. I'm on the road with a new team, comprising Uni students.

The purpose of this mission trip is very much similar to one back then. Only downside this time round is that the team (most likely) won't get to enter the Hmong refugee camp due to military restrictions. We'll be focusing our efforts solely on village outreach this time round - ministering to children and visiting the homes of some of the village's poorest.

Currently feeling tired, strained by the lack of sleep and rest the whole week long prior to this trip. Hope to catch a good nite's rest.... it's currently raining cats and dogs here in Khek Noi... so the signs look good for a cool night of sleep.

Signing off... will return with pictures from the trip.

Just came out of a challenging week. Been pretty busy at work, with SCCC's office relocation and my band's first gig happening on the same week, and on top of these, playing in church in the weekend (cos i was standing in for another musician). Add family commitments (cos I'm in the process of relocating as well) and a slew of other little happenings in my personal life to the mix, and I really have had a crazy week. But well, all is fine now that I've crossed most of these hurdles.

At the moment, I feel physically and emotionally drained, but I'm thankful that spiritually I'm actually on the up. Taking a much needed personal retreat tomorrow. It's time to start unpacking my thoughts for a time of reflection and a time of engagement with God.

I'm a staff member with Campus Crusade. And part of my training as a staff includes Apologetics, which in turn consist of topics like "Why does a good God allow Evil and Suffering".

A key point in that particular lesson (Why God allows evil and suffering) is that the cause of present day suffering is due to the sin of man, and that God is actively involved in making things perfect once more.

In my recent trip to Petchabun, I caught glimpses of suffering at every turn... be it in the eyes of an abused child, the plight of a family of seven struggling to make ends meet, an elderly lady abondoned by her own family, the hurt and oppression of the Hmong people, the tears of that Hmong woman who cried out for a glimmer of hope... the hungry eyes of a Hmong child and many more....


To be honest, I have no answer to the sufferings I've witnessed. Do I go round telling these people that they have sinned and therefore need to repent? Do I go round stuffing the love of Christ down their throats? Frankly speaking, if anyone of them were to suddenly confront me with the question of suffering, I'd be at a loss.

I've learnt that sometimes a touch is all that's needed... a touch to show that at least one person in the world still cares.... a touch to show that God hasn't forgotten about them... Action is more important than plain rhetoric... verbal answers, biblical or not, simply aren't enough.

Met this boy on the day of our excursion trip with the kids. The right side of his face was bruised after having it slammed against a wall by his mom at home. Apart from constantly receiving beatings, he has to worry about getting food cos sometimes he is denied of this basic necessity.

Today, an unsavory comment was made with regards to the blond hair that you see on some of the Hmong children in my photo albums. This was not only uncalled for, but also downright disgusting when I think about it again.... as such I feel a need to make this post to protect whatever's left of the dignity of the Hmong women... a lot who had their husbands brutally hunted down, attacked, and killed by Laotian soldiers.



For the record, the reason why these children sport blond colors is not because their mothers had mated with 'Ang Moh' (Caucasian) soldiers....  the 'un-asian' hair color you see is due to genes and the fading of hair color, and in some cases, malnutrition. In most cases, the hair color turns black when the child grows up.

Let's be prudent with our words and think twice before making comments we're unsure of. Cos spouting ill-informed nonsense not only casts a negative light on the victim, it conveys an even worse image of the person who said it. Let's be blameless in both thought and speech...


So was it some careless youth that made the comment? No... it was someone senior, someone christian.

I'm back from my one week mission trip in Petchabun, Thailand. I haven't had much time to blog my thoughts due to the intensity of this mission trip. I've so much to say about this trip that I dun even know where to begin. But let me try to throw out whatever i can from memory before all gets lost.... be forewarned that the flow of thoughts is gonna be rather random.

In my last update,  I wrote about the team facing a huge roadblock with regards to entering the Hmong refugee camp. I'm glad to say that since then, God indeed intervened on our behalf, paving the way for us to enter the camp. It wasn't for no reason... in that day, the Holy Spirit moved in an amazing manner.... a skit put up by the Gen12 team led to an outpouring of tears and grief as several members of the audience - parents of the Hmong children (the play was actually targeted at the children),  started weeping. A call for people who wanted to be prayed for led to roughly 60 adults and children responding. It was an emotional moment for us in the team as well, as the Spirit moved in a way that caused us to identify with their hurts, grief and bitterness. We caught a glimpse of their suffering, and that was enough to break us down in tears.

We were at the Hmong camp for two days, Wednesday and Thursday. A total of 1000 children turned up on the first day. And on the second day, it was double the number! If we were exhausted from serving 1000 people (dispatched in groups of a few hundred at a time) in a day, we were faced (on the second day) with a greater challenge of handling 1000 people in a group! We managed to press on though, and that day, all 2000 heard about God - making our reach 3000 in total.

Another part of this trip was the village outreach, where the team visited the homes of some of the poorest and most needy villages. The team had already done this during the first week before I joined them on Good Friday, and when I joined them for a second visitation this week, it opened my eyes to the 'real world'. My eyes witnessed an abandoned elderly lady who lives in a hut no bigger than half my bedroom in my 3-room flat and has nothing to call her own. I hugged another HIV woman who had turned from her own bitterness to come to know christ through the love of the team during the first visitation, and I could see genuine joy in her eyes in spite of her condition. And just this morning before we were about to leave for the airport, I visited a partially blind lady and her daughter who is mute. They live in conditions that I consider many times worse than our so-called 'poor' in Singapore.

I think I've received more than I've given in this trip. The dire needs of both the people in the village and the Hmong refugees has taught me once more to appreciate life and the things I have, instead of the ones I don't. I've learnt that all the bible knowledge that I know counts for nothing if I don't have love for people, and that it's not always going out with a bible or 4SL to stuff them with the 'need to know christ'. There are times, as I've experienced, that it is more important to show these ppl that someone cares, who cares enough to come alongside them in their grief, hurts, disappointments and anguish. I've learnt that just knowing about these needs and weeping over them isn't enough, action is needed too. More importantly, I've learnt first hand the power of worship and prayer, and that one His people are truly one in seeking Him, God moves on their behalf. And how He delights in working with those who humble themselves and are willing to be used.

That's all for now... i'll probably share more in subsequent blog posts. For more about the trip check this blog. Gotta hit the ground running... cos there's music prac tmw morn... and i've yet to practice my parts. Gonna get working soon.

Logging off.

Had one of the best worship experience today during team prayer time. We had set aside the whole day to pray for our outreach to the Hmong people. There was sort of a cold start at the beginning, but as everyone began to enter the presence of God, all 'heaven' broke loose. There were tears, brokeness, and a genuine abandonment in pursuit of God. So much was the impact of the presence of God that our thai host - a lady who had fallen from the faith, was so touched by the worship, even though she couldn't understand a word we were singing, that she rededicated herself to God in tears. As the Spirit ministered, we were led to pray for our own spiritual conditions, the people in our village, and the Hmong refugees.

We Christians tend to think of great worship as a tight band playing the latest Christian 'hits'. However this experience, which i haven't encountered for a long while, has further convinced me that all that is needed for a worship time is a genuine heart to seek God, to pursue and enter into His presence.

This afternoon we received the news that the permit to enter the Hmong refugee camp hasn't been processed by the higher military authorities, which means there's a high chance we might not be able to enter the camp.

We are pressing on in faith that God will intervene in this situation, and we have gone ahead loading the packets of food relief into our trucks. requesting prayers for the team as we head out to the camp tmw morning.

Well, this is the name of my new band, formed up to go on some local gigs starting April. It's been exciting playing with these guys, and can't wait to start gigging (going on the road) with them.

For info about us (like why the name 'Handicap Lot'), please visit our website!!  =)

Life's getting busy... hadn't had a chance to blog cos I din even have time to sit down and recollect the stuff that's going around me. Been given new responsibilities at work lately, and with those, i find myself really excited and at the same time burdened with the new workload. (and to think I was lamenting recently about the lack of meaningful work!!)  Without going into details that'll be meaningless for most, basically i've been given roles that will enable me to implement change in the way the ministry works, and streamline and fine-tune system processes.

In a few days time on Good Friday, I'll be leaving for Petchabun to link up with the Gen12ii team that is there working with Laotian Hmong Lao refugees. Personally excited about making this trip cos the team is there in Petchabun as a partnership between Campus Crusade's Gen12ii project and my friend's ministry. Also looking forward to a change in work environment! will post pictures of my trip when i get there.

So with all these different stuff happening, i've found myself slightly overwhelmed. Not that I'm unhappy about it, rather I feel i've been given a new lease of life. =)

I've been reflecting a bit on my life in ministry so far.... particularly my role in contributing to the ministry.

A year ago this day, I was still the band leader of the now-defunct band STIR... it was fulfilling, yet at times frustrating, due to the very fact that all of us in the band had big dreams and expectations of us as a band.... fulfilling cos I knew there's something to work towards to, a dream to be fulfilled, an adventure to take hold of.... frustrating cos it was hard reining in all the different expectations and cos it was hard to even take the first step towards that dream.

Yet, i guess, it is this very dream that eventually caused us (the STIR guys) to split up to our own projects...

Fast-forward to this very moment... I'm no longer the band leader of any band...no more dream to fulfill, nothing in sight to work towards to, no adventure to take hold of.... my last role was being a roadie to another FR band... and I'm not even sure if I'll be playing the next project band which we're in the process of setting up... (just to clarify... I'm not being upset at being so-called 'reduced' to a roadie... and this article is at no point an avenue of complaint or lamentation)

when frens and supporters ask me how I'm doing at FR and what my role is, I have difficulties telling them my exact job cos it's really very diverse - too varied to be encapsulated into a single job title.

so i ask myself is it still worth it... is my current life station worth the energy and time? can i channel my efforts elsewhere?

all i know is that God called me here.
whether or not I think i'm doing something 'worth doing', i know this is the very place God has called me to be, and my only task is that of faithfulness and obedience. and unless God says 'go', this is the place I'll make my stand.

yup... hence this is why i do what i do...

Yes... I've signed up for the Adidas Sundown Marathon...

Yes... I'll be running the 42km in roughly three months time... doing long distance training once again (just when i'm starting to miss them)

Yes... I think i'm mad.... =)

It's tough being a Newcastle fan these days.... it started with the bad (Big Sam gets the sack), then the abysmal (Man U 6 -0 Newcastle), and just as you'd think it can't be worse, the worst-ever manager in any club's history wants to return to the vacant manager's role. (gasp!)

It never rains but pours....

in the past 2 weeks i have felt:

tired jubilant anxious flabbergasted frustrated depressed hopeful disappointment

upset happy reflective introspective weary distracted uncertain reassured


yes... these are just some of the myriad of emotions i've felt the last fortnight. it's been quite an intense period for me... after the exhilaration and jubilation of finishing that veery long full marathon, i felt as though i was brought back to reality as i got on with the drudgery of life. dealing with people such as a highly-clinical relative, band-mates with different goals etc while juggling the responsibilities of a son, a sole-breadwinner, a christian worker. I don't mean to sound cryptic though, in short, i've experienced the disappointment of having my house-relocation process hit a major road-block due to some domestic complications, the stress of meeting deadlines at work, the regret of closing a chapter in my life that's my band called STIR (yes we'll not be playing together for the foreseeable future).

the first and last items mentioned in particular... are the ones that have really hit me hard. it is difficult not to be haunted by a sense of failure, a sense of wondering how things might have turned out had i 'done things right'.

someone once mentioned that it is through 'unwanted processes' such as these that God uses to grow us. and i choose to believe this. while it might be easier to stay down in my own pity party... i choose to take all i've been through the last two weeks on the chin. funny though.. that i still feel the sense of failure even as i type... guess that's part of being human...

there's still much to look forward to though, picking up the pieces and moving on and waiting in anticipation on how God will lead from this point on. for now i'm reassured by this passage from Psalms 121.

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

It's now 2 days after the marathon.... I'm still trying to get over the aches in my legs, still having trouble walking about, especially up and down the stairs. hehe but the pain is surely worth it! it's a long while since i woke up smiling despite having cramps... or rather, this is the only time in my life so far.

anyway, thought i jot down some stuff i heard during and after the race which i thought were either corny or plain amusing.

Scene A

First 200 meters.... running past this development called "Waterfront <something>"

Angela (looking at people peeing by the sign saying 'Waterfront'): wah! they are peeing there! no wonder it's called 'Waterfront'!

Scene B

Runner A (running past Isaac and Steve, and looking at Isaac): Hey bro I'm sorry I took your banana....

Steve: Erm.. that didn't come out right....

Me: hmmm..... =)


Scene C

Somewhere at the 31-32km mark....

Isaac (looking at the 32km sign ahead): hey you know what... I used to fit in a pair of 32 inch pants....

Me (totally worn and going 'mental'): roll eyes.....  arrgh.


Scene D

The day after the marathon.....back in office

Person A: So the marathon was 42km?

Me: yeah... 42.195km actually.

Person A: oh how come got 0.195km?

Person B: ooh you see.... 0.195km is the distance Alvin rolled over in pain after crossing the finish line.

Me: ......

yes! and now i can call myself a 'Finisher of 42.195km'. The marathon started at 530am this morning, and thanks to my frens who ran with me, I managed to clock 6hours at my first try.

my memory's isn't exactly serving me well at the moment, but i shall attempt to give you an account of the run...

0-16km - not too bad, surprisingly i didn't feel the effects of my recent sickness, and after getting accustomed to the pace, i felt good coasting along, and thanks to the early start (530am) most of it was a breeze.

17-21km - i start getting tempted to walk, but managed to push on til the 21km mark

24km - my legs start feeling heavy, suddenly it wasn't so interesting looking at other people.

32km - the point where i wished someone took out a gun and shot me... cos i won't be able to feel a thing! haha... by this point my thighs were tightened, making running an uphill task

33-35km - seriously wanted to throw up cos of the heat. the water points did little to make things better.

39-40km - we ran the stretch from the entrance of the People's Association to Beach Road.... this was a killer cos there wasn't any shelter from the sun.

41-42km - possibly the longest 1km i ever ran.... it's amazing how little mileage my weary legs could clock.

42-42.195km - it's a now-or-never dash to the finish line, got a pleasant surprise when i saw my fren Ivin by the road, anyway i gave watever that's left in the tank... and finished the long race in about 6hours.

and now... I've got problems walking due to abrasions and aching legs... it's a chore even getting up from my seat... and it's only gonna get worse tmw morning... oh well i guess this is the price to pay for my foolish bravado! hah.


Finally people to thank....



Steve, Angela and Isaac - I owe you a big Thank You for training with me...I couldn't and WOULDN'T have done the long distance runs by myself... to Steve and Angela for having me over at your place...  to Steve and Isaac for pushing, cajoling and tricking me to keep running that never-ending east coast stretch. Isaac, for all your unsavory and sometimes 'corny' remarks. Eg. the one where out of the blue you said you used to fit into a pair 32" pants... it actually took my mind off the drudgery of running cos i din know what to say or respond.. =)


ok that's it! now that the marathon's over, i'm gonna go eat drink and be merry to my heart's content.

One more day to the StandChart Singapore Marathon. Taking part in my first-ever full marathon as part of one of my personal goals this year, and just when I felt good to go, I had to be struck with slight flu early this week. Good news is, it's not a full-blown flu - I was diagnosed as having throat infection, so I should recover in time. Bad news - I now have an irritating cough as a result of that. The medicine prescribed has been making me drowsy, and I actually feel worse than I should.

It's not all doom and gloom though... my mind's willing to make the run happen... I'll just have to cross my fingers tight for now that remnants of the phlegm will go away come sunday morning.